ADHD and Inconsistency

On my productive days I am capable of completing almost everything and more. My productive bursts will sometimes last days or even weeks and during that time period I can feel my life improving. This includes overall improvement with my career, relationship with my partner, my health, and finances. And then without any warning it’s it’s over. Now I struggle with sending a single email. I am missing deadlines, procrastinating, I find myself in terrible moods, and can feel all the progress I made slipping away. On my non productive days I am extremely hard on myself because I know how capable I am on my productive days.

I am either extremely productive at work and my boss is recognizing my hard work during staff meetings, or im doing less than the bare minimum and my boss is telling me my work practices are lacking as I’m missing importance deadlines for my clients. I can’t tell my boss the reason for this is because I have major inconsistency issues due to my adhd picking and choosing when it wants to be focused. And then when I get in troubled I have to fight off rejection sensitivity which makes my brain and body want to shut down and give up. I have to try to fight off so much negative self talk.