AITAH for wanting break up with my BF

Me (M 26) and my bf (M 39) have been together since August 2023, but we’ve been F buds since 2019 at least - so we’ve known each other for quite a while.

Since we started dating, I quickly learned that my bf is very controlled and, I guess, “conservative” when it comes to Drugs & Alcohol. He barely drinks and extremely rarely does drugs. He has a strong stance of NO when it comes to Coke and Ket, he’s tried Molly once and Weed. He somewhat enjoys Shrooms - he finds it brings him to his “inner peace”. He comes from a family of drug abusers so he’s always had a strong aversion to drugs. He’s only tried some because I’m very open to them and he wants to try get on a similar level.

He’s a very controlled person I.e he works to a schedule, whether it’s his day, week or year, it’s put on a schedule. He also has a spreadsheet for his finances. He’s super organised and very focused on what he wants in life.

This isn’t to say he’s successful. He immigrated from South Africa to NZ about 7 years ago and tbh, as a 26 year old, our “style” of living, as in, what we can afford, is basically the same. I say this, so I can help you understand the kind of person he is.

My problem is that, when I go to my friends house, or if i go out, I seem to always come home to a judgy bf. If I go out to town and come home at 1, I come home to a judgy bf. Recently I went to my friends house and initially said I’d be home at 9, at 7.30pm I communicated to him that I’d be home at 11pm instead coz we were having a good time. I came home to judgy - frustrated bf. I didn’t drink or do drugs.

My issue is, I’ve done this in the past, but I don’t want this to be a constant block in my life. If I want to do a line at New Years, I don’t want it to be a problem, if I have a cone with my friends, I don’t want it to be an issue. If I get drunk at a party once in a while, I don’t want to wake up next to an angry bf.

I don’t drink and party every weekend. I very rarely snort stuff much less take stuff. I enjoy weed every now and then, but I’m not an every day user, hell, I’m not even an every week user. But this still seems to be too much.

Am I the asshole for wanting to break up with my BF because of this? I just want to be a bit more free without it being an issue…