You guys were right lol

I kept telling myself maybe they’d come back, maybe they still love me, maybe things would work out. I let them string me along and reel me back in and get away with not communicating. Today they told me they don’t love me anymore.

I blocked them on just about everything and told them I may reach out someday - but maybe I won’t. I’m hurting a lot but I think this is a good thing. Deleting all the posts off my Instagram felt so freeing. Especially because they’ve only posted me on theirs once.

For the last year and a half, I was the one seeing the best in them, supporting their goals, brushing off my pain - but I’m going to make a list of all the times they hurt me with their carelessness and selfishness, and I’m going to let myself be angry about it. They brushed me off and laughed at me and told me to my face they see the worst in me. I’m not going to give them power anymore.

I told myself for years that the way they see me must be accurate, because they’re so smart and know me so well - but now I see that they are relentlessly negative, and project that negativity onto everyone around them.

I made mistakes. Really bad ones. I apologized for them and I will continue to grow from them. I can’t keep punishing myself for their inability to see all the good things I’ve done too.

If you are in the same boat as me - I know it’s so hard to cut them off. It feels like their good opinion is the only one that matters, or like you’ll never find anyone else who treats you the same. I’m telling you now - do not kill yourself for someone who strings you along. If they really cared about you they would draw a hard line in the sand and communicate clearly. The fact that they won’t is proof of their selfishness. It hurts to be this harsh on them, but it’s true - a person who loves you won’t string you along. They won’t say they’re busy when really they just don’t want to see you. They won’t say they’re your friend and continue to let you love them and let you hurt.

If you are in the same boat as me - it will be okay. We can all love and support each other.