I'm dying really

It's been 8 months, everyone says it gets better, you'll be okay how?

I understand the first few months but I've past 8 , idk how she is where she is, I've also had an upgrade in life, new uni, little better life style etc. but honestly nothing matters I've lost life in my life. I can't eat anything, lost around 25 kgs already, health is breaking down, mentally dead, just got diagnosed with lung infection but I've never even smoked once in my life. I just think of her every single second. Can't stop blaming myself for everything even though she said there's none to blame.

I don't have any home or peace. At home or reuniting with old close friends does nothing, I'm traveling alotttt, reading self help books, journaling focusing on career gym you name it, I've done all nothing can help me. If this goes on, I'll drop dead or suicide.

Sadly this world doesn't care about male and their struggles if they aren't wealthy and rich. I just want her back in my life. Know her day is, share everything with her, see her.

I just wanna feel like I'm loveable once again.