So alone

I’ve only left the house once since LO (2m) has been born that wasn’t drs appt related and it was to go down the block to get pizza for myself and my husband. There was an event at my husband’s church and I was looking forward to it for the past couple of days. Today was supposed to be the day I finally went outside and had fun with my baby.

There wasn’t enough room in the car. So I couldn’t go.

So I’ve been home semi alone (MIL is here but I don’t trust her alone with LO) for almost 8 hours with baby. I’ve been crying for the past 30 minutes. Baby has been screaming and crying for the past hour. I haven’t taken a prenatal in who knows how long. Baby relies exclusively on pumped milk but I can only pump 2-3 times a day because I’m always exhausted or alone with baby.

I’m SO sad and can’t stop crying. I literally just want to take baby outside and have fun ONE freaking time. I feel like I’m withering to nothing and only my LO is keeping me going.