Unrequited love ft. Ae Dil Hai Mushkil
What exactly is love? Why do people allow themselves to fall in love? If we do not know what the answer is for the first question, the second question is hyperbole. If we had a concrete answer to what love is, I believe we will only allow ourselves to fall in love with the 'correct' people. But then, if this is a calculated decision, are we falling in love with the person, or are we falling in love with the idea of love? A paradox to ponder upon.
If love just happens, only a fortunate few get to experience it reciprocated, and even fewer get to see it last. The remaining? That is what this film talks about.
All the central characters have their take on this.
Tahir (SRK) loves Saba (Aishwarya) Saba loves Ayaan (Ranbir) Ayaan loves Alizeh (Anushka) Alizeh loved Ali (Fawad)
Alizeh's take: "Yeh, jo hai humhare beech, humhari yeh dosthi, yeh meri taakat hai. Aashique meri kamzoori hai!"(This friendship of ours is my strength, but love is my weakness.) Alizeh has already been through love (and maybe Ali might have reciprocated that love for her, but he was not able to make that last), so she knows the pain it caused her. So when she found Ayaan, it felt like a breath of fresh air. She wanted peace. (Dosti meri sukhoon hai.) She didn't want to sabotage the one relationship she had which did not make her weak. For her the relationship she had with Ayaan was above 'love' as she felt safe and not worried or vulnerable. "Ayan, tu mere dost ho, mera khaandan ho, mera sub kuch ho, bas mere aashique nai ho."(Ayan, you are my friend, my family, my everything, just not my lover.)
Ayaan's take: Ayaan hadn't been in love at all. He has had few girlfriends in the past but no true love. When he found Alizeh, he realized he could be himself, without any judgements. "Apne personality bachake rahkhe thi. Kyunki mein jhaanta tha ek din mujhe koi milna wala hai, jo mere paagalpan ko samjheega."(I was holding onto my personality, because I knew that someday, I will find someone who gets my weirdness.) For Ayaan, love isn't passion, flirting or sex. He had that with Saba, but did not fall in love with her. For him, it was being with someone with whom he could be weird and childish, dance to Desi Bollywood songs and at the end of the day cuddle together. He had this with Alizeh. Even when she said she was not attracted to him, only his ego was hurt, but it did not pain him. It was only when Ali came back into Alizeh's life, did he first start feeling the pain of love. He knew that she would eventually be someone else's wife, and that would mean he could not spend as much time with her as before. He started becoming possessive. "Kisi ne aapko suddenly chaanta maara hai? Us chaante ko ishq kehte hai, aur woh chaanta aur zor se padta hai, jab koi teesra aa jaata hai."(Did you ever get slapped by anyone suddenly? That slap is called love, and that will be felt even more, when another person comes into the picture.) He did everything to make Alizeh fall in love with him as he wanted her all to himself; went away when she got married, flaunted his relationship with Saba to make her feel jealous, was ready to do the stuff DJ Ali did. Nothing worked out. But in the end, he was the only one who was there with her during her last days. "Ajeeb kahani hai pyar aur dosti ke rishte ki, pyar humara hero, dosti heroine"(This is a strange story about love and friendship. Love is the hero, friendship is the heroine.)
Saba's take: Saba is the only one who fell in love more than once in this movie. She knows what it can do to a person. She was very clear that she did not want a relationship. "Mere Zindagi mein rishte ke liye jagah nahi."(There is no space for a relationship in my life.) Which is why she wanted her relationship with Ayaan to not be any serious one. "Main Kisi ki Zarurat nahi Khwahish banana chahti hoon." ( I don't want to be needed, I want to be desired.) But she realized she was beginning to fall in love with him. When she finds out that Ayaan's love was only for Alizeh and not for her, this is when she decides to end the relationship with him. She knew she had invited unwanted drama into her life, for which she was not ready to sacrifice her life for, and hence decides to end things. She knew she was already in love, and it was going to make her weak. "Mujhe samjaane ki khoshish mat karo.Kyunki agar samjhaaoge, toh samaj jaaungi. Agar samaj gayi, to bhighar jaaungi. Mohabbat karna humare bas me nahi, par us mohabbat se dur chale jana wo humare bas hai."( Please don't try to make me understand. If you do, I will give in, And if I do, I'll break apart again. Falling in love is not in our control, but going away from that love is in our control.)
Tahir's take: "Agar baazi ishq ki baazi hai, to jo chahe laga lo, darr kaisa, agar jeet gaye to kya kehna, agar haar gaye to baazi maat nahi." (If you gamble in the name of love, stake what you want, what's to lose? If you win, it's wonderful, if you lose, all is not lost.)
Tahir's screentime is the lowest among all the characters, however, is the most impactful among all. Just like Ayaan, he too has seen the love of his life with someone else. However, he has grown to live with the feeling of unrequited love. In fact, he romanticizes the concept. Unlike Alizeh, love doesn't make him feel week. It is his words that act as the catalyst for Ayaan to realize his love for Alizeh, and the break-up between him and Saba.
"Ek tarfa pyar ki takat hi kuch aur hoti hai, dusre rishto ki tarah ye do logo me nahi batati, sirf mera hai hai ispar."(There's nothing like the power of one-sided love. Unlike other bonds, it isn't shared, it's mine and mine alone.)
Four different yet similar takes on unrequited love. Just shows that this phenomenon called 'love' is the most complex, draining and painful feeling humans have to put up with, or the most beautiful, fulfilling and wholesome feeling that we cherish. Which side of the coin one falls on, depends on each individual experience and tolerance. It is in hopes of the latter, that many people inevitably fall under the former.
What exactly is love? Why do people allow themselves to fall in love? If we do not know what the answer is for the first question, the second question is hyperbole. If we had a concrete answer to what love is, I believe we will only allow ourselves to fall in love with the 'correct' people. But then, if this is a calculated decision, are we falling in love with the person, or are we falling in love with the idea of love? A paradox to ponder upon.
If love just happens, only a fortunate few get to experience it reciprocated, and even fewer get to see it last. The remaining? That is what this film talks about.
All the central characters have their take on this.
Tahir (SRK) loves Saba (Aishwarya) Saba loves Ayaan (Ranbir) Ayaan loves Alizeh (Anushka) Alizeh loved Ali (Fawad)
Alizeh's take: "Yeh, jo hai humhare beech, humhari yeh dosthi, yeh meri taakat hai. Aashique meri kamzoori hai!"(This friendship of ours is my strength, but love is my weakness.) Alizeh has already been through love (and maybe Ali might have reciprocated that love for her, but he was not able to make that last), so she knows the pain it caused her. So when she found Ayaan, it felt like a breath of fresh air. She wanted peace. (Dosti meri sukhoon hai.) She didn't want to sabotage the one relationship she had which did not make her weak. For her the relationship she had with Ayaan was above 'love' as she felt safe and not worried or vulnerable. "Ayan, tu mere dost ho, mera khaandan ho, mera sub kuch ho, bas mere aashique nai ho."(Ayan, you are my friend, my family, my everything, just not my lover.)
Ayaan's take: Ayaan hadn't been in love at all. He has had few girlfriends in the past but no true love. When he found Alizeh, he realized he could be himself, without any judgements. "Apne personality bachake rahkhe thi. Kyunki mein jhaanta tha ek din mujhe koi milna wala hai, jo mere paagalpan ko samjheega."(I was holding onto my personality, because I knew that someday, I will find someone who gets my weirdness.) For Ayaan, love isn't passion, flirting or sex. He had that with Saba, but did not fall in love with her. For him, it was being with someone with whom he could be weird and childish, dance to Desi Bollywood songs and at the end of the day cuddle together. He had this with Alizeh. Even when she said she was not attracted to him, only his ego was hurt, but it did not pain him. It was only when Ali came back into Alizeh's life, did he first start feeling the pain of love. He knew that she would eventually be someone else's wife, and that would mean he could not spend as much time with her as before. He started becoming possessive. "Kisi ne aapko suddenly chaanta maara hai? Us chaante ko ishq kehte hai, aur woh chaanta aur zor se padta hai, jab koi teesra aa jaata hai."(Did you ever get slapped by anyone suddenly? That slap is called love, and that will be felt even more, when another person comes into the picture.) He did everything to make Alizeh fall in love with him as he wanted her all to himself; went away when she got married, flaunted his relationship with Saba to make her feel jealous, was ready to do the stuff DJ Ali did. Nothing worked out. But in the end, he was the only one who was there with her during her last days. "Ajeeb kahani hai pyar aur dosti ke rishte ki, pyar humara hero, dosti heroine"(This is a strange story about love and friendship. Love is the hero, friendship is the heroine.)
Saba's take: Saba is the only one who fell in love more than once in this movie. She knows what it can do to a person. She was very clear that she did not want a relationship. "Mere Zindagi mein rishte ke liye jagah nahi."(There is no space for a relationship in my life.) Which is why she wanted her relationship with Ayaan to not be any serious one. "Main Kisi ki Zarurat nahi Khwahish banana chahti hoon." ( I don't want to be needed, I want to be desired.) But she realized she was beginning to fall in love with him. When she finds out that Ayaan's love was only for Alizeh and not for her, this is when she decides to end the relationship with him. She knew she had invited unwanted drama into her life, for which she was not ready to sacrifice her life for, and hence decides to end things. She knew she was already in love, and it was going to make her weak. "Mujhe samjaane ki khoshish mat karo.Kyunki agar samjhaaoge, toh samaj jaaungi. Agar samaj gayi, to bhighar jaaungi. Mohabbat karna humare bas me nahi, par us mohabbat se dur chale jana wo humare bas hai."( Please don't try to make me understand. If you do, I will give in, And if I do, I'll break apart again. Falling in love is not in our control, but going away from that love is in our control.)
Tahir's take: "Agar baazi ishq ki baazi hai, to jo chahe laga lo, darr kaisa, agar jeet gaye to kya kehna, agar haar gaye to baazi maat nahi." (If you gamble in the name of love, stake what you want, what's to lose? If you win, it's wonderful, if you lose, all is not lost.)
Tahir's screentime is the lowest among all the characters, however, is the most impactful among all. Just like Ayaan, he too has seen the love of his life with someone else. However, he has grown to live with the feeling of unrequited love. In fact, he romanticizes the concept. Unlike Alizeh, love doesn't make him feel week. It is his words that act as the catalyst for Ayaan to realize his love for Alizeh, and the break-up between him and Saba.
"Ek tarfa pyar ki takat hi kuch aur hoti hai, dusre rishto ki tarah ye do logo me nahi batati, sirf mera hai hai ispar."(There's nothing like the power of one-sided love. Unlike other bonds, it isn't shared, it's mine and mine alone.)
Four different yet similar takes on unrequited love. Just shows that this phenomenon called 'love' is the most complex, draining and painful feeling humans have to put up with, or the most beautiful, fulfilling and wholesome feeling that we cherish. Which side of the coin one falls on, depends on each individual experience and tolerance. It is in hopes of the latter, that many people inevitably fall under the former.