I ejaculated at a school shooting

Hello guys. I am gay, In case you were wondering. Today i was waiting in the cafeteria at school for my num nums, and when the door opened i ran as fast as i could! I got me some lucky charms and breakfast pizza. But my excitement for my next meal was soon interrupted by gunshots coming from the other side of the school. I was so scared so I screamed as loud as i could for 15 whole seconds before the principal shut me up and called me retarded. I thought that was a bit of a strong word, so i urged him to use a different one, but before i could reason with his ignorance, he told me to go under the table. However i could not fit under any of the tables due to my fat. So i quickly ran into the kitchen and began gobbling down on all of the delicious snacks they had back there. Best day ever. And were still not even at the best part actually. The shooter finally arrived to this part of the school and started killing people I didn’t like, including the principal. The shooter was so hot and magnificent, his long hair flowing in the wind as he fired his ak-47 at any unsuspecting student or teacher. My jaw dropped, and I ejaculated. My one true love was real! I quickly mustered up the strength to run towards him, and i got up to his face, stood up one leg, with the other in a backwards L shape, and i kissed him. I ejaculated 6 more times. He ran out of the school exit. I wondered if i was too quick with him? What can i do to repair this relationship?