Can’t get over my first love

Just to put this up front, english is not my native language so bear with me, guys.

We met in high school, but didn’t start dating until college in 2016. I had a wonderful time with her, as an introvert I don’t have that many friends to begin with, her and my childhood best friend are the only people I can share my deepest thoughts with. Our family are supportive of this relationship. We planned to marry at our 2000 day’s anniversary. Fast forward to 2019, when I told her I want to pursuit a masters degree oversea, she was completely supportive and willing to do long distance relationship.

And one day, she kinda break up with me saying that this is necessary for a long term relationship if we want to settle down, she has some personal troubles she need to go through as well as finding a job for herself, plus for me to focus on studying without distractions. At first knowing her, I accepted (she has a weak mentality and easily triggered, I don’t want to force her to stay in this relationship if that’s not what she wants), plus promises that lead me to believe and basically think this is just temporary.

Today, I asked her if I can see her for one last time before I fly, and she refused. I asked her if she can wait for me, all I got back was something along the line if we cross path or what happens happens. I insisted on asking her and it turns out not long after we broke up, she moved on, while I was still believing in what she said think about her everyday, for 6 months straight, even reconsider not going the graduate school anymore to be with her. She said sorry. She doesn’t want to tell me so I can forget her and move on too. But I didn’t forget.

It’s hard for me to find someone that I can open my heart too, I am not the type to easily forget, this hits me hard.