You think Dante jerks off? Like do you think he comes back to his place from a long day of killing demons feeling all weary and sits on his table to look at the same porno magazine for the 12th time and says "It's been a while, it's time to take out the trash" and then he pulls down his pants, switc

hes to Royal Guard style and begins to go absolute haymaker on that thang, no mercy full force maximum speed parrying his own hand with his cock going PAMPAMAPMAPMAPAMAPAMAPMAPMAM and then his style meter goes up and he hears the announcer saying: DISMAL! CRAZY! BADASS! APOCALYPTIC! SAVAGE! SICK SKILLS!! SMOKIN SEXY STYLE!! and then the RG gauge is filled to the maximum and he fucking RELEASES with one massive hip thrust and destroys his table in a million pieces, splinters flying in all directions as red obs fall on him after the spectacle he just played out. And the his power goes out because he forgot to pay the bills