Don’t want to be pregnant

I’m 7 weeks pregnant. Had an abortion 5 months ago that got my family involved. My dad flew with me to get it.

My abortion killed my relationship with my parents. I found out my dad’s been cheating on my mom and when she makes comments about my partner I want to tell her that my dad isn’t a saint. At the same time I feel embarrassed for being stuck in the same situation I was in and pulling my parents into it. I was crying everyday after laying in bed for days on end but again I’m having the same doubts as before.

I hate this feeling of pregnancy. My body smells like literal death down there. I have discharge that grosses me out. The smell of everything is really weighing on me and I feel embarrassed for my family to see me pregnant again. My partner has been helping me out a lot with cooking except he doesn’t necessarily clean and I think it’s because he’s afraid of me having another abortion. I last had one when he went out of state to work but he’s been in town since. I just feel so unprepared and disgusting.