The collimation horror movie.

How can I not think about giving up on the hobby with so many collimation problems. I confess that I feel like an amoeba. I've tried everything, laser, Cheshire, Tampa, Olho, Resa!! I've seen dozens of tutorials, videos, blogs, podcasts and nothing. I have a 130mm f5 telescope and I really don't know why I bought it. And the worst. When I manage to align, I test the star and it looks like a donut exposed to the Sun. The good news is that I met an amateur astronomer here in my city and he's coming to help me. The problem is that he has already canceled twice. I keep looking at the scope sitting there in the corner, all crooked... It's fucked up. Anxiety will kill me.